August 03, 2007

50 Reasons you are obsessed with wrestling.
-you go to shake someone's hand, then pause and look around nervously for the crowd's response.
-you refuse to enter a room unless someone plays your entrance music.
-after failing your final exams you tell your friends you were 'screwed'.
-you blade yourself on purpose whilst shaving.
-you list 'Parts Unknown' as your residence on your passport application and get angry when officials make you take off your mask for a photo.
-you get kicked off the school wrestling team for choke-slamming your opponent.
-whenever you put your children to bed you say 'Rest In Peace'.
-instead of telling your kids a bedtime story you put them in a sleeper hold.
-you greet your girlfriends parents by powerbombing her mother into a bed of nails.
-your best friend is in a bad mood and you wonder if he's turning heel.

-you call your group of friends a stable.
-your living room furniture consists only of folding chairs.
-every time you write an exam, you tell the professor that you're the highest ranking official, and if you don't get an A, he's suspended.
-when you see a road accident you rush into the wreckage, stand over the victim and start chanting "ECW! ECW! ECW!"
-when you're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
-if you hit your co-worker in the head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
-when a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
-if whenever you walk into a party you tell them to"cut the music".
-after an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the side, you clothesline him.
-when you go into work you insult everyone you see just to draw heat.

-if you lose a job, you change your look and name before starting a new one.
-whenever someone asks "Do you know what time it is?"You respond "It's Vader time!!!"
-your friend comes to dinner and when he brings a chair in from the other room, you spear him and apply The Jackhammer. You wait for cheers from your family.
-after you beat someone up, you spray paint their back.
-you clothesline people in the supermarket for no real reason.
-you power bomb your mum through the dinner table.
-you are refereeing a sporting event and just as someone is cheating you turn your head.
-when you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant.
-if you walk into church and slap people's hands in the pews while walking down the aisle.
-you campaign for Goldberg to be Israel's next Prime Minister.

-you rent a table at the mall for the weekend and hold an autograph session.
-if at a ceremony at your work to give out awards to the employee of the year, you "turn" and slam a chair across the recipient of the award's head... then you immediately grab the mic and start talking about how YOU deserved the award.
-you call your folks 'Vince' and 'Linda' and your brother 'Shane'.
-you get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.
-you clean your teeth after a meal with a toothpick and then throw it at the person opposite you.
-the only words you got right on your Spanish test were"Viva La Raza".
-your greatest moment in life was when the nWo was created and you have it documented in a college paper with legitimate sources.
-when you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn't "play with the big boys", and that she will never get past mid-card status.
-you call all Hispanic people luchadores.
-when in a fight you get down on two knees and beg the other guy not to hit you, and then you nail him with a low blow.

-you walk up to get your diploma, and the graduation song is playing, you turn to the audience and shout "OOOOOOHHHHH YEEEEAAAAHHH!"
-you replace the Pomp And Circumstance at Graduation with Macho Man's nWo music.
-you leapfrog over people while playing football, then turn around and clothesline them.
-everytime you go to church, you wait for the minister to quote something from the Book Of Austin.
-you start every sentence with the words "Well, ya know, Mean Gene...", or "Let me tell ya something..."
-you refer to everyone you talk to as "brother".
-after your parents ground you for a week, you refer to them as "heels".
-you ask your parents to adopt Sunny or Sable. Your father immediately agrees; your mother smashes his head on the table. Her divorce lawyer counts him out.
-a day before retirement, you demand a retirement match from someone in the office.
-you actually read this whole list.